The Gardener I Want to Be

It’s mid-August, and every year around this time I play the same game with myself: the “Next Year” game.

I look at the weeds taking over parts of the garden and think, NEXT year, I’ll stay ahead of those weeds. I look at the empty beds and think, NEXT year, I’ll use every inch of growing space. I think about the markets I skipped and say, NEXT year, I’ll make time for more markets. I glance at my YouTube channel—just a handful of videos this season—and tell myself, NEXT year, I’ll really make an effort to record more content.

my bounty

It’s both motivating and a little depressing. I love dreaming about what next year’s garden could be, but if I’m honest, a lot of those “next year” plans could actually happen right now. Why not plant a fall crop in that open bed? Why not film a few videos this week?

And then reality taps me on the shoulder. I’m busy—like, really busy. Between working new offices, covering multiple offices in a day, Michelle starting a new job, plus all the regular house and farm work, our plates are full. And the truth is, we also want to live. I love the garden and the farm. I love sharing it with people through videos and you-pick events. But I also love going to the lake with friends, leaving town for a concert weekend, and taking mini vacations.

At the Iowa State Fair

Here’s the thing, though: if I look back over the past five years, the farm has gotten better every single year. This year, I planted in the high tunnel for the first time. I grew three new varieties of flowers I’d never tried before. I opened the flower field for you-pick events. I even sold flowers to a few florists. Those were all things I used to dream about in past “Next Year” lists, and they happened.

So maybe the gardener I want to be isn’t the one who magically has no weeds, fills every bed, and checks off every dream instantly. Maybe it’s the one who just keeps improving, year after year, without giving up.

After a You Pick